“Am I Too ____, for my Dream Career?”

We all have something that we’re insecure about when it comes to pursuing our dreams.

A big one for me was my weight.

I thought I had to be a certain size or look a certain way to show up and succeed on social media.

I knew intellectually that this wasn’t true, but that emotional insecurity still existed for me. I found that by not addressing that fear of mine, I began:

1. Talking myself out of my own goals and aspirations
2. Procrastinating even the little things that could lead to my success
3. Playing the comparison game with other people and thinking, “I can’t do what they’re doing (so why even try?)” which in turn led to…
4. …even MORE insecurity!

I finally got to the point where I had to realize that not only was this not true, but my ambition and determination had to be bigger than my insecurities.

I decided it was better to show up, even imperfectly than it was to continue holding off until I “felt ready” to begin.

•  Do you feel like you have a lot to offer the world but you have to “fix this one thing” first?
•  Do you notice that every time you think about taking that first step, there is “some little issue” that holds you back from starting?
•  Do you find yourself coming up with excuses to procrastinate (that might stem from insecurity)?
•  Do you compare yourself to other people doing what you want to do, and fear that you won’t be as good as them?
•  Do you hold off from trying to change until some vague, future point in your life or future life change, because you feel like you can’t make a difference as you are now?

If so, that thing you THINK is holding you back (your weight, your income, your experience, your appearance, your trauma, your business) isn’t what’s actually stopping you.

The thing that’s really stopping you is...

FEAR.

That’s it.

So how do we change this?

Here’s the thing that might be a shocker for some of you.

You aren’t actually afraid of being “too little”.

You’re actually afraid of being too much.

You’re afraid of being too busy, too anxious, too poor, too fat, and too inexperienced to make it in the big leagues.

The real question is: “Am I too (fill in the blank) for my dream career?”

And the real answer is: No!

One way to address the self-doubt and perfectionistic monster is to ask it a simple question: Who told you?

Who told you that you were too poor to reach for a better income?

Who told you that you were too fat to show up online?

Who told you that you were too inexperienced to make it in the big leagues?

The truth is, most of the time, no one told you! You told yourself!

And if you are telling yourself the thing that's holding you back, then you have the power to change the narrative—to tell yourself something different.

Let’s go through some common examples.

How the Narrative Change Works in Action:

Current Narrative: “I’m TOO BUSY for my dream career!”

Narrative Change: I will always be busy, but I can make time for the things that are important to me.

Yes, life gets busy. But guess what? It will never actually slow down. The truth is, we make time for the things that are important to us. Find ways to do this in your life. Break down bigger goals into small, actionable steps. Delegate whenever possible to create time and space on your to-do list. Schedule time in your calendar/in your planner to work on your goal. Focus on one thing at a time. Just show up. A little every day actually matters.

Current Narrative: “I’m TOO BROKE for my dream career!”

Narrative Change: I can get really creative and determined.

Let’s be real. Lack of money can be a real issue. When it is, you need to get really creative and determined. See if scholarships are available for classes that you want to take. Use free or low-cost online resources. Use the library. Ask for help. Trade skills you already have for things you need. Include people in what you are trying to do and give them specific ways they can help you.

Current Narrative: “I’m TOO OLD for my dream career!”

Narrative Change: I can start doing the things I love at any point in my lifetime!

You’re too old? Really? Are you dead? Then you’re not too old to do the vast majority of things that you want to do. Adjust your mentality about what “too old” means. Where did you get the idea that you are supposed to do certain things by a certain age? Find examples of people who achieved a goal (preferably one similar to yours) at a later age. There are many stories out there! I even wrote about some of them in a blog [Insert hyperlink]

Current Narrative: “I’m TOO FAT for my dream career!”

Narrative Change: My weight doesn’t determine my worth or what I have to offer!

I don’t need to know your weight to know that you’re absolutely not too fat to achieve your career goals. Heck, there are even plus-size models. Ashley Graham is fierce and fabulous! Find role models to prove that your self-imposed limitation is just that: self-imposed. Find clothing, accessories, and/or makeup (I LOVE red lipstick) that make you feel confident and unstoppable. Stop following the accounts that make you feel bad or unworthy, and follow accounts that make you feel confident and beautiful in your own body!

Current Narrative: “I’m TOO SCARED for my dream career!”

Narrative Change: I’m more scared of never trying.

It can be scary to go after something you really want. What if you fail? What if you embarrass yourself? But isn’t it scarier to picture five, ten, or fifteen years down the road and still be in the same place you are now? Isn’t it scarier to never try?

And then (especially for this one but also for all of these):

Try running a simple risk-benefits analysis:

Write down your worst-case scenarios for doing what you want. Don’t hold back. Seriously. What are the worst possible outcomes if you try this out? Be detailed. Now write down what you would do if each of those worst-case scenarios took place. You’ll find that most of your “biggest-fear-worst-case-scenario outcomes” are temporary and reversible.

Now write down all the positive changes that could happen if you just go for it! Write down how your life would be different one, five, and ten years from now if you make this change. You’ll find most of the positive changes are long-term and fulfilling.

Now the next step is to do it scared.

Start small. Build your confidence. Find accountability and support from someone who cares if you succeed (and hey, I’m offering!).

Conclusion

As you can see, most of our excuses and procrastination come down to FEAR.

And that fear often stems from negative self-talk, self-imposed mindsets, and insecurities that simply AREN’T TRUE.

In order to make changes in our lives, you need to change the narrative—change the way you talk to yourself—and then take action.

And if you need help, I’m here to help you!

One great, first step could be to set a 60-minute Power Hour with me during which we’ll take a deep dive into the topic(s) of your choosing and come up with a game plan for you to move forward.

•  Find out the primary fear that’s fueling your procrastination and negative self-talk.
•  Ask yourself: Who says I can’t succeed?
•  Boil down that insecurity to a single, negative thought pattern you’re believing.
•  Find a way to change the narrative.
•  Run a risk-benefits analysis to address that fear.
•  Create an actionable plan to start now

P.S. If you’d like help understanding how to start investing in yourself, you can set up a

60-minute Power Hour with me during which we’ll take a deep dive into the topic(s) of your

choosing and coming up with a game plan for you to move forward.